Lights, Christmas, laughing!

Christmas is the time when people put so many bulbs on the outside of their houses, you don’t know if they’re celebrating the birth of Jesus or General Electric.

Do you know what it is like to put up fifteen hundred Christmas lights on the roof of a house? The kids are giving two to one I’m gonna come down the chimney before Santa Claus does.

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My history teacher–a wannabe time traveler?

Okay, so history was never a real interesting topic to me. Yeah, I know what happpend on this date and that one, but that’s all I really need to know. Now, my history teacher is just plain out there. He walks around the room like he’s Mr. Macho, and claims he’s not sarcastic when he asks you a question about, well, about history, and you get the right answer. So, it’d go something like this: Teacher: “And when was Washington made president?” Me: “1789.” Teacher, (extra emphasis) “Duh….” And the rest is, well, history from there. So, he claims he’s not sarcastic but what does “duh” supposed to mean? Personally, I think “duh” is a stupid word. A duh word. Duh. IT even looks dumb in writing. Anyway, then you have History Teacher ranting and raving about how America’s so illiterate, and that there is an actual book on internet acrinyms and another one that just came out. That people will someday talk in acronyms, and say something like, “I-Y-F,” he said. And I thought, “In your face?” then I started to laugh. He claimed he made that one up, but I don’t think so. I mean, why couldn’t it mean “in your face”? But the way he talks about war, since he’s a military historyian of all things, and likes to find out why people fight in war, well, he gets going on all the people involved in the war. I remember the first day of class when he got going on Heriot Tubman, (which has nothing to do with war by the way), and wanted someone to give him three questions she asked. Now, I just sat there like the dork I am, since history is vague to me. So a brave girl said, kind of lamely, when asked what Heriot ever asked, she answered, “Well, I’m sure she asked lots of questions.” You want to see disgusted and practically insulted? History Teacher flew off the handle. “You better know what you’re talking about. Heriot Tubman had a brick thrown at her head for crying out loud. Had terrible headaches for the rest of her life!” That did it for everyone. WE just sat there and kept our mouths shut for the rest of the class. Tried not to look stupid. I felt kind of sorry for the girl, though. OH, yeah. History Teacher acts like he knew Tubman. And, claimed George Washington in the Revolutionary WAR didin’t swear, when we were watching The Crossing movie. Yeah, right! G. was human, too. Had wooden teeth that gave him awful headaches. That idiot Horatio Gates who stomped him down all the time about him not having a professional army. And you think the guy didn’t let loose a few choice words? A little british talk there? Jeez. Oh, and how about taxs. WE were talking about how King George was taxing the crap out of the colonists, and Teacher wanted to know “What do our taxes do?” which was more like a demand, rather than a question. So more like, “What do our taxes do!” Some kid said, “Extra money when we buy stuf.” Then Teacher. “That’s BS. I don’t want BS answers.” And blah, blah, blah. So, I always have this impression of him creating plans for building a practical time machine, and I find it pretty funny. But he makes me feel really stupid, like when we were breaking apart the word “invasion” during the Revolutionary War. HE said to come up with recent invasions besides the Revolutionary War. Like an idiot, I said the September 11th attacks. “NO!” he burst out, incredulous. “Did you see little guys in parachuteslanding on the ground from their plane?” Duh! Duh, is right. I felt like such an idiot. Of course that wasn’t an invasion. I think I needed a chocolate break. And so does history. I’m history…