Seems appropriate considering the timing…..
While out campaigning, Old John stopped at a small village and
started
looking around for a stand to make his speech from. All he
could
find
was a big pile of horse manure, so he climbed up on that and
said,
“Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the first time I have ever made
a
Republican speech from a Democratic platform.
It was once said that a black man would be president “When Pigs Fly.”
Indeed 100 days into Obama’s presidency. Swine Flu
An Important Message About Growing Old
Well CRAP!!
Now I forgot what I was gonna tell ya!
An Important Message About Growing Old
Well CRAP!!
Now I forgot what I was gonna tell ya!
An Important Message About Growing Old
Well CRAP!!
Now I forgot what I was gonna tell ya!
An Important Message About Growing Old
Well CRAP!!
Now I forgot what I was gonna tell ya!
Question: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Answer: Frostbite.
Question: Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.
Question: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Answer: Ribbon hood.
Question: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Answer: Claustrophobic.
(source: www.santa.net)
Snow White was preparing dinner, when she heard on the radio that there had
been an explosion down in the mine where the 7 dwarfs worked. In a state of
worry and panic, she hurried to the mine. As she entered the shaft, she
heard far off in the distance a voice saying, “Vote for Obama! Vote for
Obama!”
At this point a smile broke across her face and she said, “Well, at least
Dopey is still alive!”
You know you are too old to Trick or Treat when:
10. You get winded from knocking on the door.
9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
8. You ask for high fiber candy only.
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag,
you lose your Balance and fall over.
6. People say: “Great Boris Karloff Mask,”
And you’re not wearing a mask.
5. When the door opens you yell, “Trick or…”
And can’t remember the rest.
4. By the end of the night,
you have a bag full of restraining orders.
3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won’t dislodge your
hairpiece.
2. You’re the only Power Ranger in the
neighborhood with a walker.
And the number one reason Seniors should not go
Trick Or Treating…
*
*
*
1. You keep having to go home to pee.
